Supporting Your Journey Through Grief
Stories That Heal Hearts
Hi, welcome to my website. I’m Gary’s Mum. Thank you for taking an interest in my book.
It’s life’s circumstances that have brought us together, certainly not choice, for I would never have felt the need or indeed had the experience to have written my book if it wasn’t for that. But life is full of changes and challenges and I now find myself the author of my first published book.
In the early months after the sudden passing of our son, I found writing my thoughts down helped me to cope with my emotions and it very soon became something I relied on as it helped me to get through the day. But It was to be several years later before I made the conscious decision to write my story. It was after looking back on my notes that I began to see gradual positivity coming through and this was to become the purpose of this book.
I write of how, with time, I began and continue to find the strength and purpose to life again. I have incorporated some general facts which I needed to understand and I collected many of my favourite verses and quotes that have brought me comfort over the passing years.
My story has been written from one mum to another or anyone who may be struggling with any bereavement with the hope that it may offer some guidance and support. The purpose is for other mums to feel a connection whilst they may be experiencing their own personal journey.
The Book
I Thought I Had You Forever is a true, sensitively written story of a mother's personal journey after the sudden death of her son. She shares her experience of grief from the beginning, through the weeks, months and the early years that followed. Written with the help and support taken from her thought diaries which she kept over that time, it offers guidance and hope for anyone who is trying to cope with the loss of a child, what must be for most, the deepest form of bereavement. She writes of how, with time, she began and continues to find the strength and purpose to life again, learning to deal with all the challenges that it brings.
The Book can be purchased through all of the following websites
Gary
TESTIMONIALS
It’s tough to recommend a book about something as devastating as losing a child, but I Thought I Had You Forever by Gary's Mum is a rare and beautiful exception. This isn't just a story of loss; it's a powerful and deeply moving story of love, survival, and the slow, difficult journey back to the light.What makes this book so special is its incredible honesty. It’s written not by a professional author or a grief counsellor, but simply by Gary's Mum. That detail alone tells you everything you need to know about the heart and soul of this book. It’s not a clinical guide to bereavement; it’s a hand to hold from someone who has walked the darkest path imaginable.Drawing from the personal thought diaries she kept after her son's sudden passing, the author invites us into her most vulnerable moments. This format makes the experience incredibly raw and immediate. You feel the initial shock, the fog of the early weeks, and the crushing weight of the months that follow. She doesn’t sugar coat the pain or offer easy platitudes. Instead, she shares her authentic feelings, which is a profound gift to anyone new to this journey, assuring them that whatever they are feeling is valid.But this book is far from a story of despair. The true magic of “I Thought I Had You Forever” lies in its message of hope. With gentle sensitivity, Gary's Mum shows us how, piece by piece, she began to find a purpose again. You witness her learning to navigate a world that has been permanently altered, facing anniversaries, holidays, and everyday moments with a new kind of strength. It’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring power of a mother’s love. Who is this for? While it is an essential lifeline for any parent coping with the loss of a child, I’d also recommend it to a wider audience. If you have a friend or family member who is grieving, this book offers invaluable insight into what they might be experiencing, helping you to offer more meaningful support. I Thought I Had You Forever is a heartbreakingly beautiful read. It’s a book that will stay with you long after you’ve turned the final page, leaving you with a deep sense of compassion and a renewed appreciation for the strength it takes to heal. It’s a truly special book that offers guidance, comfort, and most importantly, hope. Highly recommended.
Gary's mum lost her son when he was just thirty years old. While on vacation in Portugal Gary went to sleep one night and never woke up. For the first fifty pages of I Thought I Had You Forever Gary's mum does a great deal of soul searching. There is a brief and didactic interlude (about ten pages) about various religions: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Spiritualism, and Atheist.I have always compared grief to fire. You cannot control grief just as you cannot control a fire that has burned out of control. Both are unpredictable and ever-changing. Just when you think you have grief (or fire) licked, something will trigger a flare up and the fight starts all over again. Grief can be a rollercoaster of up and down emotions. Grief can leave you drifting without purpose. Grief is the rudder, always determining your course of healing. Grief is searching. Where did you go? Where are you now?Confessional: I am not a mother. I do not know the pain of losing a child in any capacity, yet I Thought I Had You Forever kept me up at night. We all grieve differently. Gary's mum lost her ability to enjoy music for nearly five years while I clung to every note and melody and lyric to keep my missing alive. Gary's mum didn't listen to music for four years while I couldn't play mine loud enough.
A Heartfelt, Healing Read
I finished this book last night and it moved me to tears. It expresses grief, love, and courage with such honesty and tenderness. I felt as though I came to know Gary too, which made the story even more powerful and real.
What stayed with me most was the reminder that love never truly fades — even through loss — and that we must keep on loving, no matter what life brings. This book is a gift to anyone who has experienced grief in any form.
I’ll be recommending it to everyone I know.
A very raw account of a mother's 10 year journey through grief after losing their adult son very suddenly. It is the author's peronal account of her grief not the grief of others as we can only document our own journey through grief, not that of others.
Supporting You On Your Healing Journey
As you read my story you will see how the charity CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) had an enormous impact on us as a family. We were shocked to learn that at least 12 young people die every week in the UK alone from undiagnosed heart conditions, something that our family had no knowledge of and shocking when it is something that could be avoided.
CRY continue to support families like ours and more importantly constantly offer free heart screening for any young person between the ages of 14-35 all over the UK, so families like ours may be saved from the heartbreak of losing our children.
The proceeds of sales from this book will go to CRY so that this can continue.
